What bondage says about you (and what it can do)

What bondage says about you (and what it can do)

Subversive and confined, the practice of bondage previously belonged to private spheres and specialized BDSM * clubs. But over the past ten years, it has been clear that a considerable boom in “general public” practices has been asserted. But what exactly is bondage?

From the greatest erotic books to recent successful films, the virtues of attachment (ropes, handcuffs, corsets, etc.) are constantly being praised and becoming more democratic in the sexuality of couples. Aesthetic knotting lessons, well-tied themed evenings, “special and private use” ropes available in all good DIY stores … The erotic art of ropes is popular all over France.

Genesis of bondage

Originally, bondage was an Asian torture inflicted on slaves. It was practiced in Japan as early as the 15th century by those in power who tied and compressed with ropes the bodies of their enemies. Very quickly, states of ecstasy due to the compression of certain arteries and the lack of oxygen were observed. And little by little, the pain of torture turned into a very popular sadomasochistic sexual practice! Since the 2000s, the practice of bondage has exploded in the West. Several “schools have just opened in France to teach” the art of ropes “, according to the Japanese techniques of Kinbaku or Shibari, two aestheticizing practices of bondage.

The BDSM protocol

Bondage is based above all on very specific protocols. It features two consenting “players”: a dominant (the attaché) and a dominated (the attaché). The dominant has the authority and the power to objectify others. The dominated chooses submission and let go. But appearances are sometimes deceptive … As Gilles Deleuze and before him the philosopher Hegel demonstrated, a reversal of the status of master / slave exists behind the scenes. The dominant remains subject to the pleasure of the dominated, who also holds the word security (“safeword”). The latter is crucial. He represents the guarantor of the limits not to be crossed.

The transgression of everyday life

Bondage enthusiasts generally have high qualifications and have an above-average standard of living. Would being tied up overturn the codes of everyday life? In fact, the “dominated” no longer has to play a role, nor to make decisions. His state of constraint opens a framework conducive to letting go. Paradoxically, freedom of the mind is born from the constraint of the body. From a biological point of view, pleasure and attachment hormones (no pun intended) such as oxytocins, dopamines and endorphins, moreover provide a feeling of diffuse well-being, sometimes going so far as to cause a state of depression. ecstasy similar to that of sexual orgasm, called the “subspace”.

Is it serious doctor… ?

However, it is necessary to remember that bondage is not to be handled lightly. Bad compression can cause unconsciousness in a matter of minutes and have serious brain and bodily consequences. In addition, I sometimes welcome in consulting rooms people who wonder about the “normality” of their sexuality. It is a fact, the practice of BDSM is part of the curiosities and sexual experiences of our society. However, when the use of bondage becomes the only mode of sexual satisfaction, when no other way of experiencing pleasure can be possible, the existence of a paraphilia ** is to be questioned. In this case, a consultation with a sex therapist will make it possible to probe what is at play through this “obscure object of desire” …

Article published in “ACTIVES Magazine”, section “Sexo by Calisto”.

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